In Search of funny laws. Help! xD?
# Colorado Water laws prohibit the use of rain barrels or any methods to catch rain for use. They claim the rain has already been legally allocated to the state and individual may not capture and use water to which he/she does not have a right
In Zion, It is illegal for anyone to give cats, dogs, or other domesticated animals a lighted cigar.
(If you know of anylaws like this one post em up see who can find the dumbest law out there! xD They must be LEGIT(real) and not made up . Begin 😀 List the state name
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone
to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or
she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee
has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and
other domesticated animal kept as pets.
1. Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
2. Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theatre nor ride
in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is “sober” until he or she
“cannot hold onto the ground.”
2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while
biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault.”
1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a
special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from
turning around on any city street and looking “at a women in that way.” A second
conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to
wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
1. Beer & pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in
groups of three or more on private property.
1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and
dust under a rug in a dwelling.
2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without
first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week
– on Saturday night.
1. All lollipops are banned.
2. A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
1. No children may attend school with their breath smelling of “wild onions.”
Is it illegal to tie a dog up in North Carolina? Where do you report suspected animal abuse?
There is a local school where I do a lot of substitute teaching.
(This is not my permanent career, by the way. I’m doing this while I look for a job teaching English).
When I took the kids outside for recess, I noticed that in the yard of a house on the other side of the playground fence, the people that live there have a dog that is constantly tied up. It’s terribly cold right now, and the dog was tethered to a tree on a metal chain.
It’s terribly cold here, and the only shelter the dog had access to was a small doghouse, and what appeared to be an empty metal barrel. I’m concerned because I’m not sure that it had proper food and water bowls. I noticed that by the tree, there was a container that looked like a water bowl, but it was filled with dirty water that looked like rain runoff. The animal’s dishes may have been in the doghouse, but I have no way of knowing that.
This upsets me something terrible. I don’t even know who these people are and I’m not sure that they actually did fail to give their dog food and water. I don’t know if it’s illegal to keep an animal in these conditions but it really upsets me to see an animal being treated this way.
Is it illegal to restrain a dog like this in North Carolina (it should be)? If you suspect that someone is mistreating their animals, where do you report it?
Thanks, if you can help.
It’s illegal not to provide adequate food, water, and shelter. And to leave your dog out in dangerous weather conditions. I think you should call animal control, do it anonymously if it makes you more comfortable. They will go out and take a look for themselves. If they think the dog is being neglected, they will remove it.
Periodic Puns? Please Help?
1. What the doctor does for the sick
2. What they said to discouraged workers making the holes in gun barrels
3. If you had this surrounding your car, you would have a sandwich
4. Night guard for Helen of Troy or a powerful alcoholic drink
5. To press a shirt
6. Half a dime
7. Foolish prisoner
8. What happens to your quarters after you play video games at the mall
9. How Cal knew his skis were broken
10. Where you wash the dishes
11. A kitchen on a boat
12. What you call a donkey’s neck
13. The Lone Ranger’s horse
14. What you become when you diet
15. What you get when you exercise
16. What happens when Dine lends me money?
17. Grab Um!
18. What you do with your clothes after a close encounter with an angry skunk
19. What do you call a man with 10 tongues?
20. A cowboy’s cry after successfully riding a Brahma Bull
21. Heavy protection from x-rays
22. If the rain belonged to you, I would call it…
23. Mickey Mouse’s best friend
24. Character in BC or the Norse god of thunder
25. What the drug detectives were looking for when they searched the house
26. Makes Superman weak
27. Police activity at an address where they suspect illegal activity
28. ………… On the Range
29. When I fixed tears in my clothes, I…
30. Small animals with long tails that infest your house
31. What to do when you can’t get your donkey to move
32. Leg joint above the calf
33. Where Dorothy and Toto landed
34. As good as….
35. What you call a man with his knees gone
36. When a big bully twists your arm, you….
I’ll give you what I can,
21 Iron !!!!! I was wrong it is Led!
Don’t you agree?
Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says “I love New York” in Arabic.
You gotta love Robin Williams……Leave it to him to come up with the perfect plan…Hard to argue with this logic!
“I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s one plan.”
1) “The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those “good ‘ole’ boys”, we will never “interfere” again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They’re illegal!!!
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5) No foreign “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a “D” and it’s back home baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere.” They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “Ugly Americans” any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH…learn it…or LEAVE…Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan?
I like the fact that it is not insulting to Americans (in my opinion) concerning the issues of the world!
I agree that we should fortify our nation, clean it up and out!
Thanks for a great post!
which extract is better? thank you so much!?
All three are from the same story I have written. Which is your favourite (if any). I know their not brill and the grammar sucks (I have a hard time with grammar but I’m forever trying) but if you have nay constructive criticism to give…give it!
Extract One:-The prologue- It all started with a mistake. You ask if I regret it, I say no. You ask if I planned it, I say no. You ask if I miss him, I say no.
I sometimes watch the rain fall outside my window, it reminds me of that night. It was raining and his hair was black in the light deprived room. He had kissed me softly, then harder, his lips grazing my cheek as I pulled back for air. We were out of our minds, drunk on the thrill of being with a stranger for the night. Drunk on vodka too.
Things went off with a bang from there. I believe that if you throw a boomerang it always comes back to you, like fate. Like Karma. I never expected my dose of karma to come barrelling into my life without the brakes on. It’s why we moved eight hours south to the secluded town of Marigold. A new house, a new start. Too bad things didn’t work out that way. Your past has a habit of catching up with you, whether you like it or not.
Extract Two:-Random extract from the middle of the book- I caught a droplet of rain on my fingertip, watched it melt into my skin until it was gone; forever. Just like my past. Or was it? With every second I spent with Mikey I could feel my past barrelling towards me, like a magnet that’s just been released from its box. I shook myself, mentally and physically. An elderly woman peered out from the safety of her second floor apartment to watch me writhe like a fish on a hook. I gave her a small smile, as though to persuade her that I was not totally barmy, that I was merely shaking myself free of unwanted thoughts and memories. She didn’t look convinced but closed the window anyway, taking care to bolt it.
My mother once told me that no matter how rarely you visit the corner of your mind where your past is locked up, no matter how tight those chains are; your past has a knack of wriggling free from those restrictions and coming back to haunt you. And that’s exactly what it has been doing these past few weeks. Haunting me.
Extract Three:-The very ending (all is explained in the epilogue) I shortened it so you don’t get even more bored- He stood at the end of my road, head bowed slightly, eyes focused on me as I advanced. He raised his head and bent each of his fingers in turn, in a forlorn wave. I didn’t wave back. I couldn’t. Instead, I broke into a sprint towards the boy I was in love with, not caring that my skirt was hitched up around my thighs and that my shoelaces were undone. All I cared about was throwing myself into Mikey’s arms and never letting go. I did though. I let go. An armed officer had fastened a set of handcuffs around both of my wrists and forced me to meet his gaze. The power it held was enough to convince me to stay silent. To stay motionless. I wanted to concentrate on what the officer was saying but the sound of his voice may have been as load as the roaring sea for all it mattered. There was just Mikey and he was all I could see, all I could feel, turning everything else into the hush of a gentle breeze.
“You’re under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs and underage consumption of alcohol.”
I barely heard the policeman. I was focused on the way Mikey squirmed when a second police officer patted him on the back and said something in a hushed tone. It was this that told me who had done this to me. Who had called the police. It felt as though my heart had exploded into a million tiny splinters of glass, spearing through my chest and causing such agony my legs were barely allowing me to stand. Uncontrollable rage clouded my vision as I was strapped into a police car and the door was slammed shut. The person that had called the police was the one person I thought I could trust, the one person I thought would never share my secret. Mikey.
I think they are all about the same. Written in first person which is uncommon but not unheard of in fiction. You have used some good descriptions and analogies although a few were rather strange or over the top. All things considered, it looks like you enjoy writing so keep it up.
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